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When Christmas Feels Hard
It’s Not Always Tinsel and Fruitcake
Christmas can be a joyful time, but for many, it’s filled with stress, sadness, or loneliness. If Christmas feels hard for you, know that you’re not alone.
Christmas is often shown as a time full of joy, family, and fun. And it is for some people, but many people in Australia, it’s not like that at all. Instead of being a happy season, it can bring up feelings of sadness, stress, or loneliness. And that’s okay - Christmas doesn’t look or feel the same for everyone.
I don’t like Christmas. I don’t like the commercial part of Christmas especially in a world that now feels more divided than ever. And it appears that I’m not alone! From chatting to our clients, approx. 50-60% of them also don’t like Christmas. Generally, for the same reasons.
The Pressure to Be Happy
Everywhere you look - TV ads, shop displays, or social media - there’s the message that Christmas is meant to be the “happiest time of the year.” But if you’re feeling down or stressed, that pressure to be cheerful can make things worse. It’s hard when you feel like you’re the only one who isn’t enjoying the season. Remember – you are not alone.
Don’t pressure yourself for the few days. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
Missing Loved Ones
For people who’ve lost someone they love, Christmas can be a really tough time. Maybe it’s the first Christmas without them, or maybe it’s been years, but the empty chair at the table or skipped traditions can make the pain feel fresh again.
I have missed my father and grandmother every Christmas for many years and now my mother. My family here is very small – just my partner and me (and the cats) so Christmas isn’t about family…. well, it’s about our very small family – and yes, the cats will get a prawn….
Money Worries
Christmas can get expensive fast - buying presents, going to events, or just keeping up with the idea of a “perfect Christmas.” For families doing it tough, this pressure can be huge. It’s hard to feel festive when you’re worrying about money.
Look away from the commercial part of Christmas and had out home-made vouchers for things you can do instead. Time is more important than money!
Family Stress
Not all families get along, and Christmas can sometimes bring out the worst in people. Old arguments, tricky relationships, or just spending too much time together can make Christmas Day stressful instead of relaxing. And for those without family around, the season can feel lonely. Check out what other people in your neighbourhood are doing and maybe catch up for a drink with someone on their own.
Struggling with Mental Health
If you’re already feeling anxious or sad, Christmas can make those feelings stronger. The long summer days and all the holiday hype can make it seem like everyone else is doing great, which can make you feel even more alone. Not everything on social media is real.
How to Make It Easier
If Christmas feels hard for you, it’s okay to make it work in a way that feels better. Here are some ideas:
- Start new traditions: Do something you enjoy, even if it’s different from what you’ve done before. I will be going to the local nursing home and seeing if there are people without family and taking them a small gift.
- Take care of yourself: It’s okay to say no to things that feel too hard or stressful.
- Help others: Volunteering or giving back can make the season feel more meaningful.
- Talk about it: Sharing how you feel with someone you trust can make a big difference.
Here’s a thought…..
Plan for next year – start your own Christmas club – check in with your local council and get some help getting it off the ground – arrange a lunch for people alone at Christmas for 2025.
You’re Not Alone
In Australia, Christmas often serves as a time for “rest and reset” for many people. It’s an opportunity to reflect on the year that’s passed, clear out both physical and mental clutter, and let go of habits or thoughts that no longer serve us.
For me, it’s a time to pause and focus on what I have, rather than what I don’t. It’s a moment to feel grateful and to set a few goals for the year ahead - nothing rigid, just small intentions to guide me forward.
If the holiday season feels overwhelming, remember there are people who care and want to help. Reach out to a friend, family member, teacher, your GP, or a psychologist.
You can also call support services like Lifeline ( 13 11 14) or Kids Helpline ( 1800 55 1800) for someone to talk to. You’re never alone, and support is always available.
Sometimes, simply sending us an email ( email ) can help lighten the mental load and clear your mind.
All the team at Paragon PsychConnect wish you a calm and restful end to the year.
May 2025 be fell of gratitude and many small moments of joy.
